william

of all the places i have ever been you were the warmest.

saying goodbye to yesterday should feel like i'm losing you forever, but i've loved harder and longer than things that have cut me too deep. i'll never feel i've lost you, not like that.

when you feel in your very core, deep into spaces that have never been touched - you cannot live around it, or manage it, or move on from it. you can only live within it and it within you. as i have and do and always will. even as i know that a part of me will always feel the sadness and the joy of you. a big part and a small part all at the same time.

but you were many things all at the same time. and so were we and so am i, now.

i'm not the mermaid i once was. i'm different now and i sing different songs. a lot of that is thanks to you and even more is despite the loss of you. but i always knew you'd be big and so you were. and so you always will be.

like the ashes that were never scattered you and i were locked into something that would never really end. it's not wishful thinking when i say you're eternal because you are here with me now and in everything i do and in the colors that have never seemed as bright as when you were near. and in the colors that i still seek, even though they look a little pale. because while i am loved and cherished greatly, nobody can do it quite like you. but that, of course is the story you wrote me.